METALACHI with Latter Day Skanks

Fri Mar 23 2018

9:00 PM (Doors 8:00 PM)

Dante's

350 West Burnside Street Portland, OR 97209

Ages 21+

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THE STORY OF METALACHI...

On a hot summer night in Veracruz Mexico circa 1982, Consuela Espinoza stumbled out of her dilapidated shanty and into Rock N Roll history. What began as an innocent night of snorting horse tranquilzers in a hotel room with seven members of the village jai alai team went on to produce the greatest metal band to ever live. Unhampered by a steady regime of tequila and ill advised sumo lessons, nine months later five bastard children where born. Unable to care for her hungry offspring and concerned that motherhood would seriously interfere with her Tuesday night Karaoke league, Consuela hastily packed the babies into the saddlebags of a burro and sent her children off to America in search of a better life. Against all odds, 14 years later, and nearly dead from dehydration, the burro knelt down to drink from the stagnant waters of the Rio Grande just ouside of Juarez Mexico -mere yards from the U.S. border. With one fleeting burst of energy the brothers Espinoza cinco climbed from their leather restraints and scampered the vast reaches of the river, collapsing onto the sweet amber hue of American soil. As if by destiny, lodged in the sand beneath their tanned faces was a record sleeve upon which were the words "PARANOID" and "BLACK SABBATH". For many years to follow, this definitive black metal album served not only as a teacher and a mentor..but also as a friend. From these bleak and humble begins grew the seed that would OFFICAL BIO

eventually be the band we know today. Often referred to as the greatest heavy metal band to ever live..always referred to as...METALACHI.        

METALACHI with Latter Day Skanks

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  • METALACHI

    METALACHI

    Heavy Metal

  • Latter Day Skanks

    Latter Day Skanks

    Punk

    The Latter Day Skanks started out as humble Mormons who felt different. After years of self doubt, self torment and self exploration they excommunicated themselves from The Church Of Latter Day Saints and created a much sexier, much stickier and very much Skanky-er offshoot: The Church of Latter Day Skanks. The former abused, tormented and chastised the members for what they were: young, sexy and rebellious. After years of soul searching The Skanks have come to Portland to spread their message though raucous and raunchy punk rock Hymns. The bands uses their seductive allure to expose religious lies that have spread war and hate for centuries. They preach a message of equality and acceptance through satire, skin and of course dick jokes to any and all that will listen. The cross-dressing & hard rocking Latter-Day Skanks guarantee to blow your mind and rock your ass. Bring your naughty self to a show and leave your morals, inhibitions and virginity at the door.         

METALACHI with Latter Day Skanks

Fri Mar 23 2018 9:00 PM

(Doors 8:00 PM)

Dante's Portland OR
METALACHI with Latter Day Skanks
  • Sorry, you missed this event.
  • Check out other similar events on TicketWeb.

Ages 21+

THE STORY OF METALACHI...

On a hot summer night in Veracruz Mexico circa 1982, Consuela Espinoza stumbled out of her dilapidated shanty and into Rock N Roll history. What began as an innocent night of snorting horse tranquilzers in a hotel room with seven members of the village jai alai team went on to produce the greatest metal band to ever live. Unhampered by a steady regime of tequila and ill advised sumo lessons, nine months later five bastard children where born. Unable to care for her hungry offspring and concerned that motherhood would seriously interfere with her Tuesday night Karaoke league, Consuela hastily packed the babies into the saddlebags of a burro and sent her children off to America in search of a better life. Against all odds, 14 years later, and nearly dead from dehydration, the burro knelt down to drink from the stagnant waters of the Rio Grande just ouside of Juarez Mexico -mere yards from the U.S. border. With one fleeting burst of energy the brothers Espinoza cinco climbed from their leather restraints and scampered the vast reaches of the river, collapsing onto the sweet amber hue of American soil. As if by destiny, lodged in the sand beneath their tanned faces was a record sleeve upon which were the words "PARANOID" and "BLACK SABBATH". For many years to follow, this definitive black metal album served not only as a teacher and a mentor..but also as a friend. From these bleak and humble begins grew the seed that would OFFICAL BIO

eventually be the band we know today. Often referred to as the greatest heavy metal band to ever live..always referred to as...METALACHI.