Links

: https://youtu.be/rOZ4C9uaU2M

https://youtu.be/br4xlWnI6xU

https://youtu.be/T4awnFii8mE

https://youtu.be/z7UHaMbrwto

https://youtu.be/Uko8qFpmUh0

https://youtu.be/jYhhPL4pTcw

#TheCristinaPayneShow Podcast

Hi There! My Name is Cristina Payne, Comedian

Born in Manila, Philippines

Raised in San Francisco & LA California in the 80s & 90s

Graduated San Francisco City College w/ Honors & Received Academic Scholarship to Howard University in Washington DC, MSW. 

Current City: Los Angeles, started comedy in Washington DC & trained in NYC /Atl/Chicago/TX

Social Medians:

Instagram: @Cristina__Payne #TheCristinaPayneShow #CristinasComments 

Twitter: @CRISTINAEDPAYNE

SnapChat: @CPayneShow

FaceBook: CristinaPayne/ theninjadogshow@gmail.com

TikTok: CristinaPayne

LinkedIn: Cristina Payne

This DEC 9, 2023 will be my #9 year in Comedy

Radio Personality on Sirius XM’s channel 96 #Quakehouse on Kevin Hart’s LOL Network 

*TV/FILM/DigitalStreaming:

Season 7 of @RayDejon @Laffaholics #Laffaholics @BricTV Live Taping Comedy Special on @youtube 

Actress in EMMY Nominated Film called “Traveling While Black” Directed by Oscar & Emmy Winner Roger S. Williams

Sway In The Morning @SiriusXM @Shade45 @SwaysUniverse 1st Annual Comedy Search

202Creates.com “Featured Wash DC Comedian”

TV One’s NewsOneNow w/ Roland Martin cohost 

GirlsTrip The Movie 

Matrix Reloaded II & III 

No Limit Spokesperson for Master P

COMEDIC INFLUENCES:

- Favorite Comedy Album 

“Wash Yo Ass” by Red Foxx

-Favorite Comedy Special 

Chris Rock’s Live Taping at Constitution Hall in Wash DC (I was there) & Dave Chappelle’s 1st Netflix Special because I helped w/ that one

-Favorite Comedy Movie 

 Is “COMING TO AMERICA”

-Favorite Comedy TV Shows

  #MARTIN

 #LivingSingle

 #InLivingColor 

#The Jeffersons

-Favorite Comedic Character

 #George Jefferson & his Maid Florence

# Dr Huxtable

#Martin Payne

-Favorite City to perform in is NYC 

-Favorite Comedy Club is Carolines on Broadway & The Comedy Cellar & The Comedy Store on Sunset, Hollywood Improv & SF Punchline

-Favorite Type of Audience for a Comedy Show are the people there for a special occasion/ came to Laugh/Have a good time & dont take jokes personally & get upset/wanna fight comedian

-Favorite Topics to Joke About are

  Interracial Dating & Couples

  Losing my virginity too soon

  Being Celibate (as a daily goal)

  Crazy relationships (Ex Bf’s)

  Being born in Asian/raised in the USA

How did you discover your passion for comedy:

- I Discovered My Passion for Comedy at a young age,. I tape recorded George Wallace off the Radio when I was 9/10yrs old & would always play it back. I would watch @BET’s Comicview w/ my parents Nightly since their 1st Ever Season & host DL hughley. 

Also Comedy became a way of survival in the projects/ghetto,.. Talking just enough Trash “Cap’n/Dozens/YoMama Jokes” about some one & making everyone else laugh could mean you make it home that without being jumped/beat up/robbed. You had to show up daily at school with New Material or some type of funny jokes to say about your school yard bully etc to Fight w/ Word... 1st one to Cry or want to Fight Lost! How I gained a rep young w/o even realizing it lol. (ie where Comedy Writing Began for a lot of us)

What do you remember most about your first time performing stand-up comedy:

-What I remember Most about My 1ST time performing StandUp..... is that it wasn't planned. I came as an audience member to support my old Howard University Classmate now Actor/@NBC etc @SeatonSmith, it was an old basement Jazzy hole in the wall bar spot called JOJO’s. Later I find out this was Dave Chappelle’s Old Stomping ground in Wash DC. Everyone who went up said something in reference to me to the point where everyone had questions/wanted to hear my version of the teenage stories Seaton was telling. Comedian Tyler Craig (RIP) tricked me to come up on stage saying “We need a volunteer” so I went up,. He tossed me the Mic & said,. “Now Stay Up there! We gonna ask you some questions!!” Lol I remember the out of body experience feeling & said to myself,. “WOW they’re really Laughing at what Im Saying!” It was weird & such a rush like falling in Love. The next 2 times i tried it Accidentally Killed & did well,.. Never took it seriously til Charlie Murphy tweeted me Dec 2014 to come open up for him at Baltimore Comedy Factory & havnt stopped since,. My 6yr comedy Anniversary is this Dec 9th 2020

How would you describe your comedic style:

I Would Describe My Comedic Style 

As Very Physical, in your face & feelings with a #LaffNLearn Kind of approach.

I tend to see the audience as my student for the day,. Im the Cool Substitute teacher Who will get you to do all your work,.while we have fun learning New Things you’ll Never Forget& You’ll def cant wait to have me back for more!

Describe your process for comedic writing:

My process for Comedic Writing consists of attending the DC comedy writers meeting weekly on Mondays professionally... Personally I write Daily in the morning & throughout the day as “Funny” comes to me randomly in various kinds of ways. Sometimes you get a two worded phrase,.. other times u get a slogan or funny saying,.. people watching, nature, animals, old people & funny friends & family also help me create/write. My mind needs constant /daily stimulation.

Describe the comedy scene in your area:

The Comedy Scene in the Washington DC area has suffered tremendously since Covid.

Outdoor shows & APT Bldg Courtyards have been the new Stages... & with working in NYC, All Comedy & Karaoke has been banned indoors so Central Park & other outdoor venues & parking lots have become packed. There’s no place like NYC,. You can hit 5-10 stages daily if you really want to comedy grind. Washington DC’s comedy scene is more political,. Too many Indians, not enough chiefs. Sometimes being too funny wont get you booked. You will learn to Produce your own shows while grinding in DC if comedian is about their business & collecting their stage hours. Dave Chappelle said it takes 10,000 hours of stage time to be a real comedian.

How do you judge success in the world of comedy:

I judge Success in the world of Comedy in Many ways now. From Youtube,. To Church Shows,. You can be successful in so many avenues & make money where back in the day you had to get on TV,. Do shows, sitcoms etc in order to be successful. To Me If You Keep Going & Dont Give Up.. You’re successful. Followers on Social Medians mean success to a lot of younger talent. Where having an agent & being booked at the improv is another’s success. You can do commercial voiceovers, cartoons, video games, kid shows, senior citizen shows, produce, write,. Do radio etc

Who are some of your comedic peers that you enjoy watching perform or inspire you personally and professionally:

I worked with & met Tiffany Haddish writing on a stage play for David e Talbert in my 20s. David said, “Hey I got this Cali chick same age as you on cast/ yall need to meet! Yall remind me of each other!” 15yrs later I was an extra doing Background work on The Girls Trip Movie starring Tiffany, Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith & Regina Hall. 

I love her energy,. I love that Ive gotten to watch her rise,. Grind,. & conquer,. I knew Lil Rel since his youtube days & been a fan since 2006 so its an honor & privilege to see folks ive known for years make it! Let me know im on the right path. Im proud of my comedy brothers Rallo Boykins & Seaton Smith who I also went to Howard University with.

What’s been your most memorable moment in comedy:

Wow My MOST Memorable Moment in Comedy,.. other than the worst time i bombed on the Tom Joyner Cruise 5 months into comedy? Lol Prolly When I spent 8hrs in the Comedy Cellar in NYC goin thru all of Dave Chappelle’s material for his 1st Netflix Special. I told him “Pat The Pussy” when he mention “grabn by the pussy” My Pat The Pussy Made the Special.. hadnt seen him in 9yrs & Dave told me my whole name, mentioned he knew/ met my Dad & mom & brother in CA/ San Francisco! I almost cried.

What have you learned most from your failures in comedy:

My failures in Comedy have helped me be a better person in life. In Comedy your Timing has to be on point....Starting with BEING ON TIME! Being Early Always puts you on the winning side. That way you get to either greet incoming audience,.take notes & sometimes you might get bumped up or even paid/more because some one else didn’t show up/make it in time to do their assigned /set/stage time. 

I have also learned to stick to material,. Every show is different,. Every joke wont work everywhere. I have learned when & how to ask the audience questions,.. Never say Die,. Dont Quit,. & If U are Not Feeling your best,. Dont force it. I have also gotten to the point where I give 3ppl in the audience the same show i will give 300. 

How do people react towards you when they realize that you can make people laugh:

At one point,. Few women comedians,. Now finally good looking women are taking the stage by force. Once people realize I can make them laugh, some People dont see me as a sexual threat, well at least I hope so, once I get the 1st laugh out of them. Im taken in as a sister, cousin/auntie or seen as sexier to some sometimes smh lol. 

I usually dress down on stage or dont wear heels/makeup etc because some insecure women automatically take offense to me due to my looks? Smh

Describe what it’s been like building a career in stand-up comedy:

This is definitely a daily grind. You will grow tough skin. You can not cheat this stage. Experience is the best teacher when it comes to comedy. Traveling is a must to be a great comedian. No crowd, now audience, no show is the same. 

You have to prove your “Funny” each & every show! You have to become your own Writer, producer, manager, publicist, cheerleader & make nice with club owners/managers & bookers.. not to mention find ppl who are not jealous of you or trying to use you to better their comedy career. 

Getting on TV is the Goal,. Helps you get booked nation wide & better pay. Selling Merch has helped A Lot! Build your Brand!

If you could change one thing in the world of comedy, what would it be:

If i could change one thing in the world of Comedy, I would change How male driven it has been. Boys club is over! Women are proving themselves & finally getting a chance. Cute Lesbians are killing it in Comedy right now.. U can be a woman & not act like a lady anymore,. Plus men are doing gay friendly jokes to despise homophobia so its definitely a different time in Comedy right now. Plus ANY one on Instagram can call themselves a comedian by doing funny skits/podcasts & going viral/overnight sensation. Being 30 seconds of funny online,.. does not mean you you are 50mins headliner at Caroline’s funny.

Number of followers will get you booked at major clubs now too so the game has totally changed. Before,. Whoever got the joke on TV first won,.. NOW whoever makes a meme,. Skit about the joke wins. Joke stealing is more prevalent now than ever.

Best advice you’ve ever received from a comedian: 

Sinbad told me, “Get on stage, stop writing for others making them funnier & richer,.. tell your own jokes & get paid 100% money instead of 10% money!”

Charlie Murphy told me, “Whatever you do,. Make it to that stage, Cant stop wont stop! U’ll be doing arenas like me one day!”

Rodney Perry told me,. “Even if u go blank just stand up there & do your time! U’ll be surprised at what ppl think is funny.. Never Quit!”

Kelly Kellz told me,.” You are Fearless! Please Keep Doing What you do!” 

Tony Woods told me,.”Tell ppl you’re my Daughter as I do,.. that way u wont get fukd!” (Thankful for protection on the road)

Black Thought/Tarik Trotter (The Roots Crew on the Jimmy Fallon Show) told me,. “Please dont ever use that word,.. It would break my heart if you Ever killed yourself,. U gotta keep going Sis!” (While fighting depression when Deaths in my family were back to back for 3yrs in a row!

Tiffany Haddish told me when i told her about my butterflies/bad stomach before i perform,. “I be scared at first too! Thats why i dance & shake it off a lil & try to get them to have fun w/ me 1st, then i start!” & also to Smile whenever Mad/upset. 

Chris Spencer told me to “Perform the Material on stage that will get you a TV Sitcom! You’re too smart for dick jokes!”

Funniest encounter you’ve ever had with a celebrity:

The funniest encounter I ever had with a celebrity was when I went to the comedy cellar one night to support my college classmate Seaton Smith who was hosting that night. Went to the last show 11pm & it was already 1am when they announced a special guest... Dave Chappelle comes out,.. hadnt seen him in person in 9yrs prolly. His act turns into him trying to beat the audience,.. where he will perform until the last person in audience leaves venue. Now its 3am & we are yelling questions to him on stage... Everytime i asked a question he looked up to see who but couldnt see me since i was in the back in the dark. He kept saying either good question or would laugh,.. by time it was 6:30am, my ride had to leave... had to pick kids up for school lol so i walk up towards him & he says,. You cant Leave! Wait I know you! You are Cristina Payne! Ive met your Dad, brother etc etc!” I was like Wow. Dont make me cry, i havnt see you in years!” We hugged & had a moment. It was at that moment,. i felt like I really mattered. Dave Chappelle remembered ME!? OMG Mind Blown! Its literally been 9 whole years since the last time i saw him in person & he took a joke punch-up i did for him in the cellar that night & used it on his 1st Netflix special Ever! “Pat the Pussy” 

 2. Kevin Hart met his now wife Eniko at the    

     last after party i booked for him in Wash DC

3.. Chris Webber (NBA) player tried to get at me when i was 12yrs old in the 8th grade (im still the same size/height now) when he was a rookie & was on 20yrs old,. I lied & said i was 16yrs old! Lol he said oh wow you too young! Smh fuk! Lol at least he had morals. 

Weirdest place you’ve ever performed any forms of comedy:

The weirdest place Ive done comedy is prolly in a crack house,.. well it was a place above a liquor store in SE DC & it felt like Marion Barry’s spirit was haunting it,.. U could still see remnants of dusty crack particles about.

The room we were in was i guess the living room? But was supposed to be the communal dinning area so it def felt like an AA meeting or bible study & this was an open mic lol.

Another weird place Ive performed Survival Comedy was in Jail. I kept everyone in central booking laughing including the inmates & officers, they knew I wasn’t supposed to be there,.. ended up getting out early & charges dropped.

A Personal Fun Fact: (Something that people may not know about you or something funny that you would like to share.)

Im real gassy is the mornings... I sound like my dad when I pass gas,. An old angry /half vegan still playing ball after 70yr old black man. I look like my mom but i got my daddies feet,. Super long toes,. Kinda like 2 big toes... i can hang upside down from a tree branch.

Also I was in sports illustrated for kids in 1991 for running track #TheBillyHuttonTrackClub & winning junior olympics in both relays 4x100 & 4x400 at Nationals held at UNC that year

Where would you like your laughs to take you (Ultimate goals for your comedy career):

My Ultimate Goals for My comedy career are to Become an Author/NY Bestsellers List & Star in the Movies made from these books & work with other awesome comedic & dramatic directors & actors. 

I want to start after school programs like the boys and girls club but more updated/interactive/fun practical learning centers that are open 24hrs daily,. Learning Never Stops & neither does raising up the youth. 

I have a Master’s in Social Work from Howard University, Oprah was my commencement speaker & she gave me the best advice that day. I did some events with Tiffany Haddish’s She Ready Foundation & her Foster Kids in Los Angeles, CA. I also work weekly for the past 8yrs with the nonprofit Love My Neighbor Foundation in downtown LA in Skidrow& cant wait to start my own nonprofit & do more for even homeless artists & comedians especially.

What would you tell a potential comedian if they ask you how they can own their laughs:

I would tell them,. Please Be Your True Authentic Self. Dont steal or copy other peoples jokes. Make funny friends,. Hang around other funny people. Write daily & especially when anything Funny comes to you. 

If theyre brand new,. I’d tell them to work on 2& 4 min sets because eventually u can put all that together for a strong 8-10mins.

Write Clean,. Talk& Think Dirty

Write about the Funny in your life As If it would be a hit sitcom.

If you could choose 1 comedy club and choose 3 comedians to perform with on your perfect comedy show, how would it go:

Comedy Store on Sunset Main Room

Smokey Squarez from NYC would Host

Tiffany Haddish would open up with a funny story

I would be the Feature & Kill it

Dave Chappelle would guest Headline & “beat the audience” & do a 4-5hr set

What next for you:

Currently a Cohost on SiriusXM for Quakeshouse on Kevin Hart’s LOL Network Channel 96

#TheCristinaPayneShow Podcast 10yr Anniversary Restart 2024

-Filipino Cartoon Pocketz full of Pillz by Frederick Corde 

-New Book coming out late 2023 #JustSayNoToDick “Letters To My Younger Vagina”

Why should a person always laugh at life:

You should Always Laugh at life because Life,. is unpredictable! Find the Funny in Any & Every Situation & YOU’ll Never Kill Yourself! Someone is always in a worst position than you! Smile! Laugh! You burn calories & look younger using your laughing muscles. Laughing & going to comedy shows nightly after my mom passed away helped me from depression & suicide.